The Bump and the Friend

Once upon a time, I was on a touring team that went around to churches performing dramatic programs.  My first year of Tour, we were all over the Northeast, including the hills of Pennsylvania.  How a sensible state like PA can be so populace and yet feel so isolated and filled with crazy people, I do not know.  But Pennsylvania is filled with crazy people. 

That's another story.

We were driving on these hills in the middle of nowhere, when we saw a yellow caution sign that simply said "Bump".

We were like, "Huh, what on earth does that..."  BAM!!!!!  Our 16 passenger van plus trailer gets catapulted into the air and slams back down again.

Then we were like, "Oh....bump"

As we drove on (trust me, we had done worse to that poor van), we jokingly created a scenario from which the "Bump" sign could possible derive.  In our minds, a backwoods county meeting took place.

One guy says, "We need to fix that there bump by Old Man Higgin's cabin."

The Committee of Weird People for Bump Removal decide that its not a good idea on account of the fact that "We don't feel like it."

So, everyone shrugs and agrees, "Hey.  Why fix the bump, when you can just put up a sign that tells people its there."

That was 13 years ago. 

2 years ago, I met a new friend at the mall for a play date.  She was lovely and quirky, my favorite!  She did something super dorky (which I totally would've done, which gave me a Love Burst for her) and, instead of acting embarrassed, she looked me straight in the eye and said, "Sorry.  You should know...I'm sometimes very socially awkward."

And just like that, I had an epiphany!  The bump and my honest friend seemed to defy the Time-Space Continuum and arrive at the same place through the Delorian of my brain and made me realize...

I need to just Own It.  Why go through life feeling ashamed or embarrassed by my foibles?  Instead, I will just create "Bump Signs"

For instance, I am faithful at going to the dentist but detest flossing.  So, I announce as soon as I sit down.  "I didn't floss again...ever...for 6 months...and I never will."  SO MUCH EASIER than quickly flossing for 2 days prior!

I LOVE leading worship.  Worship I can do.  But I am not a musician.  This used to make me feel horribly inferior when I would walk into a praise band practice.  Now, I just announce, "I do no understand what any one of you are talking about, just tell me where my note is."  Liberation!

For the first couple years of motherhood, I tried to be a Family Fun Mom....you know, Family Fun...the magazine birthed from the depths of Hell to make all moms feel bad about themselves.  Its a treasure trove of fun, easy ideas that any idiot could do.

Family Fun's "Easy Cinderella Cake"

   Except me.  A sinking pirate cake, a "princess castle" that looked more like it was discovered by archeologists 400 years later, and a dozen failed craft attempts with my kids later... I raised the white flag and installed my Bump Sign.  It reads:

SARA EDWARDS DOES NOT "MAKE THINGS"

Freedom!

Yankee Peach-style Castle Cake. 

The facets of my life on which I can now limit my efforts are limitless!  There is no end to the countless ways that I do not need to challenge myself!  At any point, I can take a Bump Sign down...as I do EVERY BIRTHDAY to re-attempt a cake...and then put it right back up when I start feeling bad that I cannot help my daughter weave a potholder.

As I am writing this, my son walked by and said, "Oh, I remember that cake...so weird."  And my daughter just said, "Yeah...that was a really bad one."

The Bump Sign might be indicating a trip to the Publix bakery section next year.