The next rule for Being the Revival:
5. Adjust Your Vision
I am a scaredy cat. I was always the kid who had to be coaxed down the water slide, encouraged to meet Santa (he still scares me), cajoled into trying new foods. To list more would mean breaking out my Thesauras to find more words that mean "coaxed"....and that thought terrifies me.
But, in the Christian walk, God does not take "I'm too scared" as an answer.
You see, I was totally ready to do great things for God....once I wasn't so scared.
I kept waiting and waiting for the fear to go away.
I though, any minute, after I reached a threshold of memory verses or clocked in a magical, heavenly number of hours reading my Bible, suddenly the Holy Spirit would blow over me like a mighty wind and I'd become a Moses or an Abraham.
(Side note...also wimps...look it up...)
Then, while researching how the heck to start a neighborhood Bible Study, I stumbled upon a woman's blog post. I wish I could link to it but I can't find it anywhere.
She said, "The fear never goes away."
Oh.
This was a fairly freeing feeling...knowing that people I emulated were scared, too. Somehow, they did not allow fear to rule their day. Okay, I can try that.
With THAT in mind, Brenda (aka, "Melissa"...I had changed her name but she said it was cool) and I started meeting.
We'd meet and pray and then start talking. We'd share our hearts. We'd strategize. We'd pour over Bible Studies. We'd make lists of people we wanted to invite.
But we neeeeeever quite got to the point where we'd set a date.
Next meeting..."Hey! Lets NOT set a date!" Christmas was coming up. Why didn't we plan a neighborhood Christmas Party and use THAT as our jumping off point to then LATER do a Bible Study!
After spending weeks planning this party and flipping through Oriental Trading Company magazines, circling an appropriately balanced mix of Santa stickers and Baby Jesus balloons, it dawned on us...like, AS we were dog-earing a page with "Luke 2" bookmarks on it...that we were stalling.
I remember it very clearly. That day, sitting at Brenda's kitchen table, holding hands, and praying.
We told God we were too scared.
We accepted the fact that we were fearful.
Trying to rise above on our own and embrace fear as if we were those insane bungee jumper people just wasn't working.
You know what scared me? It was a vision. A vision of Brenda and I standing at our very social, very close-knit bus stop waiting with about 8 other moms for our kids. They'd all been invited to our Bible Study and were ALL huddled together talking about how Sara and Brenda somehow turned into Crazy Christians...and did you know they were those fundamental looney types?...and I bet they go door-to-door...do NOT answer the door if they try to say they need to borrow a cup of sugar!
We'd pray and plan and list people...but those names on a page morphed into real people who I KNEW and who did not live a lifestyle that seemed conducive to accepting a Bible Study invite.
God, because He truly is "rich in mercy" (Psalm 103:8, Ephesians 2:4), slowly began to adjust our vision.
I guess that's another "Rule"...or at least something to keep in mind. You are God's child! You are going to mess up! This isn't just about Being the Revival and doing great things...its about growing and maturing and learning. And you have the BEST most patient and loving Teacher.
Suddenly that old hymn "Be Thou My Vision" made sense.
My "vision" was messed up. Like Peter...
Matthew 14:22-33
22 Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. 23 After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, 24 and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.
25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.
27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
29 “Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”
God was so proud of His two little girls, I just know it. He saw us amidst our pile of Oriental Trading Company magazines and our most earnest circlings of "Merry Christmas" bubbles, crying crocodile tears in our fear.
He knew we saw the wind and the waves licking at our feet. BUT...at least we tried to get out of the boat. And truly, we were crying, "Lord, save me!"
If I were God, I would've deemed those two wimpy girls as hopeless and moved on to someone else.
But, He took our eyes, and directed them back to Himself.
Our great great God.
The God who controls the wind and the waves.
The God that David saw as he looked straight into a Goliath's face and said:
“You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. 46 This day the Lord will deliver you into my hands, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. This very day I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds and the wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. 47 All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.”
Now, it is a deep personal conviction of mine to not vow to cut off people's heads or declare that I will feed their carcasses to the animals. I find that abrasive in a Post-Modern culture...and illegal. But, how do you explain a little pubescent kid standing before a Giant without a thought for his own safety?
A Powerful God was more of a reality to David than A Scary Giant.
The more I understood who this God was, the more I could trust the results of my Bible Study to Him.
Brenda and I just kept adjusting our vision. Over and over.
And, you know what? I haven't arrived. I love this Bible Study. I can't even call it "my" Bible Study because it is just so stinking obvious that God has handled every detail of it. But, as much as I love it...this will be my fourth study...and I still cry in the shower each Thursday before I go to lead it.
I admit it. I panic that, after all I've done to prepare, that I don't have anything to actually say. Every week. But God, who is STILL rich in mercy, just keeps adjusting my vision.
So, just be honest with God. Tell Him you want to get out of the boat. Tell Him you are fearful. Admit it! I tell you...THAT is right where you should be. If you walk in to a situation cocky and flaunting your seminary degree and your righteous behavior...psh...God will cut you down to size in seconds. Trust me. He wants you humble. He uses helpless.
And He sees your tears and your fears and is SO proud of you for asking.
What are you afraid of? List those fears that hold you back. Then list what you know to be true about God next to it. Trust me...it will be a much bigger list. Then say those truths back to yourself.
"You are Ancient of Days....none of this surprises you, you've seen it before. You are a Mighty King...you've won the battle already, how can I fail! You are Conqueror...if God is for me, who can be against me?"
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