Globes Review

I admit.  I am a sucker for awards shows.  Its my parallel reality.  Ever since pre-puberty I have made acceptance speeches in my head and created lavish outfits to wear on my imaginary red carpet.  I live for this stuff.

My husband, poor dear, has gotten suckered into it as well.  He judges the clothes just as harshly as I do, all while snacking on an array of summer sausage, cheese and the finest Kroger-brand Ritz crackers that money can buy.  We even upped the class factor and bought some hummus this year.  Greek...hummus, mind you.  <classy>

I would love to tell you that I have tons to say about the awkward speeches, outrageous dresses, and crazy drunken antics of the stars, but I don't.  Did everyone in Hollywood quit drinking?  Have those cushy rehab centers actually done their job, leaving us regular folk wallowing in disappointment so deep that we must take to the bottle in a vicious and ironic cycle?  And what is up with the super boring dresses?  I personally went on Vogue's site and looked through at least 15 designer's Spring and Fall collections and found way cooler stuff!

Why didn't someone wear this?

Jason Wu

Or this?

Zac Posen

Something...ANYTHING... non boring?

The only noteworthy thing about the Globes was Madonna's boobs...if you see a pun in there, you get a gold star.

Here's Madonna...

It just seems to me that if you can afford to start your own religion and all those red strings that go with it, and if you can also afford a $6,000 dress, you could afford to make sure it fits...or at least afford a friend to tell you that your "cleavage" looks more like "plumber's crack"

This is completely tragic.  It honestly looks painful.  I find myself feeling very sorry for Madonna's chest, that dress just looks cruel.  I'm surprised, actually, that Peta hasn't stepped in.

Maybe next time, Madonna should wear this:

Christian Dior

Considering that Madonna wrote a song for a foreign film, it seems that she will get to redeem herself at the Oscars.  And, lets hope that everyone in general steps it up a notch...please!  This poor Yankee Peach will cry into her hummus if they don't.