On Politics

Four years ago, I watched the Republican debate.   There were a frazillion candidates, all flinging accusations and touting their own strengths.

The usual.

Suddenly, though, everything changed.

In one beautiful moment, the candidates came together in one harmonious response to a situation.  It was transcendent.  It was an Election Year Miracle. 

Did a 3-legged puppy suddenly hop onto the stage?

No.

But close.

Ron Paul opened his mouth to speak.

It was incredible!  Suddenly all the candidates were locking eyes and little smiles twitched on their faces.  As if they were all in on the joke.

"Ohhhh, Ron Paul," they all said in their minds, "Its so adorable when you do your crusty old man routine and call us all morons."

I'm not here to support Ron Paul.

I AM here to say that politics just aren't what they used to be.

With TV, suddenly who you chose as your Public Relations advisor and your Image Consultant became more important than your Vice President!

All the money-ed candidates...the ones who actually win...have smoothed out all the wrinkles.

They role up their shirt sleeves because polls show it makes them more "reachable".

They mention carpentry in an off-handed way so that you are reminded of Jesus.

They are poised.  They are confident.  They also haven't spoken words that someone else did not write for them in over 4 years.

You know why I like Ron Paul?  He harkens back to a simpler time.

A time when, if you didn't like what a fellow politician was saying, you walked across the aisle and beat him half to death with your cane.

Now that's what I call a rebuttal...

Where has the rage gone?


In a world of All Natural and Organic our candidates are hyper-processed, enriched and loaded with ingredients that seem palatable but will eventually give us indigestion.

So, my fellow Americans, in closing, I want to say that I believe we should have less baby-kissing,  more violence, and more use of old-timey men's accessories as weapons.

Good night.  And God Bless America.