Pioneer Lady

I have a lady in my head. 

I don't know what else to call her.  She's not an alter ego.  She's not a make-believe friend. 

She's a symbol.


She is a standard, a compass, a perfect example of what a woman should be like.

Most Christians have the Proverbs 31 Woman.

I have Pioneer Lady.

This lady does not take crap from anyone.  Actually, this lady might be a dude...huh...

She fulfills many roles within my psyche.

1.  She eradicates "Mommy Guilt"

It started when my kids were young.  I felt SO BAD if I needed to stick them in a bouncy seat or shove them in front of the TV so that I could get housework done or work on a project.  I carried the guilt around with me daily, and then the guilt started accruing.  One day, as my children were shooed out of the kitchen so that I could mop, it occurred to me:

"You know what?  In Pioneer Days, moms didn't sit around staring at their kids all day telling them how loved and hilarious they were!  They worked ALL DAY!"

And thus, Pioneer Lady was born.

Pioneer Lady didn't just make breakfast, she got up 3 hours before breakfast to bake the bread, collect the eggs and slaughter the pig for bacon.

Pioneer Lady didn't just Swiffer her floors.  Oh no, she tied an infant to her back, told the other children to go feed the cows, then scrubbed every inch of her floor with a bristle brush and that kind of soap that eats through leather.

Pioneer Lady didn't have circle time with her kids.  Pioneer Lady was out chopping wood in the driving snow.

Pioneer Lady didn't give a crap if her daughter knew 4 languages by the age of 4 like her Neighbor Pioneer Lady's kid did, she had to churn the milk for four hours to butter the bread that she had made at 3am that day.

(In my head, I think Pioneer Lady has become like the famed Honey Badger of Youtube)

Pioneer Lady don't give a crap!

2.  She makes me slow down

As my children lay their sweet heads on their pillows, in full confidence that their mother has struck the perfect balance between household duties and the nurturing of my brood, I take a moment to breath a sigh of relief.

Then...I want to start all the projects I couldn't get to during the day!

Must reorganize the computer area!

Must leave my husband with the sleeping brood and go grocery shopping!

But, wait, there's Pioneer Lady again!

Pioneer Lady stops work when there is no more light.

Pioneer Lady sits in a rocker and darns socks while listening to the fire crackle.

Pioneer Lady and Pioneer Man have nothing better to do, so they do a little Pioneer Snuggling.

Ew.  But still...its a fair point. 

Pioneer Lady makes me stop.  Kids are in bed.  Its now my time.

3.  She lets me eat bacon

I start thinking I'm fat.  I need a new diet.  I need to work out.  But...

Pioneer Woman didn't sit on the treadmill for 30 minutes and eat kale smoothies.

Pioneer Lady ate eggs and bacon.

Pioneer Lady made real butter, none of this "Margarine in a spray can" type junk.

Pioneer Lady then went and shoveled snow for 12 hours so that she could get to the barn and sheer the sheep....or whatever...I am not saying I am a total expert on Pioneer Lady's life...

So, why don't I get out there and garden instead?  Why not walk the kids up to the park instead of driving them?  Pioneer Lady didn't drive!

I think about Pioneer Lady every day.  She might be Laura Ingall's mom, I'm not sure.

Am I crazy?  Oh yes, definitely.  But, hey, it makes me feel better as a mom!  And, if you think about it, it could be worse!  I could have "Victorian Lady Who Gets the Vapors at the Opera" in my head.