Beach Boys

"Didja hear the news, Mister??", says a random juvenile street urchin running by you on the side of the road, "The Beach Boys have gotten back together!"  (Although, in my head, the street urchin is wearing knickers circa-1932, so how he knows about the Beach Boys, I truly cannot say)

Is it possible for three guys to all draw the short straw??

Well, the constant cheesy movie running through my head is correct...the Beach Boys are playing gigs again.   Middle-aged women everywhere are dusting off their Brian Wilson posters and attempting to squeeze into those delicious pink hot pants.

Your mom is ready for the BB Reunion!

I, on the other hand, am keeping my hot pants in the drawer, thank you very much.  And its not just because I am younger than 54.

No, for me, there is a grudge.  A bone to pick with the Beach Boys.  I take exception to the song "California Girls"...I think.

Here's the deal.  The lyrics are as follows:

Well East Coast girls are hip I really dig those styles they wear

So, they are really great dressers and Brian Wilson "digs" them.  That's cool.

And the Southern Girls with the way they talk, they knock me out when I'm down there.

Sigh...its true!  No man can stand up to a blonde, tan, southern girl saying, "Hey, ya'll.  Howya doin'!"  I wouldn't have stood a chance at finding a date if I were living here while single.

The Mid-West farmer's daughters really make you feel alright

................................"Aright"?.......................Really?  Midwest girls make guys feel "......alright".  Well, thanks, Brian.  That's so sweet. East Coast girls dress hot.  Southern girls "knock you out".  But, if you ask me, Brian, it sounds like the lyrics just flowed from your lips until you got to the Midwest.

I can just picture the Beach Boys sitting around trying to write this song.

"The Midwest....um, what kind of girls live there?"

"From what I can see from the airplane that takes me from L.A. to NYC, it pretty much looks like farms...lets just say they are farmers daughters."

"And they make me feel....uh...I don't know."

"I knew a Mid West girl once.  She was sweet and honest and didn't play games and talked normal like a news anchor and wore several different shades of black, gray and brown and was addicted to Faygo pop...she made me feel alright."  

The album they dedicated to "Midwest Farmer's Daughters"

Midwest girls are AWESOME!  Because I am AWESOME!

However, this is where I am not sure I have a problem with this song.  Because the next lyric is.

And the Northern girls with the way they kiss, they keep their boyfriends warm at night

Woo hoo!  And he sings it all lusty-like.  I wanna be a Northern Girl!!  But maybe I am???  What is Michigan?  Midwest?  Northern?  Its definitely "Mid" America.  But we definitely like hockey and have an ever-so-slight Canadian lilt to our speech.

Either way, I still am mad at the Beach Boys because I must go through this entire thought process EVERY TIME I hear that stupid song.  Every....time.....

And don't even get me STARTED on "Good Vibrations"...