Loner

My husband is in Portland, Oregon for the week on business.

I miss the concept of my husband.  I miss the love of my husband.  I miss our fun banter as we watch TV or get ready for bed.

But I am sort of having an affair with the solitude while he is away.

I have always liked be alone.

I have gone to movies by myself.  Restaurants, as a lone patron, do not intimidate me in the least. 12 hour road trips...done.  For fun, when I lived in DC, I gloried in hopping on the Metro and walking wistfully around the District for hours and hours.

Words can't express it, but I feel more significant when I'm alone.   Suddenly, instead of intently listening or talking to the person I am with, I can focus on the world around me.  The social quirks of other people.  This is a relief, since my quirks are typically the ones on display.

My reality is full of miss-adventures.  I quirk the CRAP out of normal life!  Being alone allows me to feel put together.  No one has to know how odd I am or about the running sitcom entitled, "The One at the Airport", currently playing in my mind.

In my head, I am sitting at a cafe in Paris in a striped, boatneck shirt and black peddle-pushers, sipping coffee, and basically being Audrey Hepburn.

It's me!  Thinking about how much more awesome I am than everyone else

In airports, I find myself talking to strangers, commenting on the cuteness of babies, actually making eye contact with the lady at the ticket counter.  I'm a slightly better version of me, I think.

So...what do I do when my husband is away?

Oh, I don't know...can you handle it?

I mean, really...this is hot stuff...

I. watch.  PBS.

My husband rolls his eyes at PBS.  Meanwhile, PBS is on the list of non-human things I would marry if I could.  Someday, PBS, we will find our voice and make our love known...sigh...

Masterpiece Theater!  Ken Burns' Documentaries on Baseball, Jazz, and the Civil War!  Ken Burns' "American Adventures"!  Ken Burns' Behind the Scenes of a Ken Burns Documentary!

I should pine for my Beloved, I know.  I'll anxiously await his arrival on Friday, I swear.  But, since he can't be here, why not enjoy it??  Kids in bed by 7:30pm.  PBS at 7:31pm.

Don't tell him, though.

He will be scandalized by my behavior.