North and South

I haven't done a lot of actual Yankee Peach posts.  You know, like, where I talk about my observations as a Yankee on the Peaches that surround me.  Part of it is because I live here and don't want to offend the natives.  But, at some point, it can't be helped.  I've gleaned enough quirks and differences to point them out.

As the Yankees inundate the South, its best to know what you guys are in for so that you can acclimate easier. 

Lets begin.

1.  "You Guys" vs.  "Ya'll"

I did not realized it until a friend pointed it out that "You guys" (or phonetically "y'guys") is part of the Midwest vernacular and has rarely been uttered below the Mason Dixon line.  This is NOT to be confused with "Yous guys" which is NJ/NY Yankee.  They are their own breed.  Although, Peaches tend to lump us all in with those crazy people.

The thing is, you cannot just come down here and start saying "ya'll".  I tried it once a couple years ago and my cousin (who is more Peach than Yankee having moved here when she was 7) looked me straight in the eye and said, "You can't pull that off yet."  It has to come naturally.  For me, that was 3 1/2 years in and working with a youth choir.  It just flowed.  It felt right. 

I STILL have trouble getting it out when speaking to just two people or, worse...one person.  I will never get that.

Also, if someone could tell me the official way to type "ya'll"..."y'all"...whatever...I would appreciate it.

PS...who is impressed that I used the word "vernacular"?  I know I am.

2.  Sweet Tea

Pronounced "Swuyt Tuyee".  At some point, Yankee, you will be offered Sweet Tea as a beverage.  But not just any beverage...it will be offered to you as if it is water.  I've seen this stuff in the sippy cups of 18 month olds.  I once went to a wedding reception where the water goblets were all pre-filled with Sweet Tea and then servers came around to ask if  I wanted wine or soda (pop...coke...etc.).  I looked at the waiter and said, "Um.  Can I just get some water?"  The guy looked at me blankly and said, "You have Sweet Tea."

3.  Compliments (?)

Oh, the Peaches loooooooove their back-handed compliments.  Like, if you tell a story about how you went to the mailbox with your jammies on and got caught in the sprinkler system while the neighbors looked on, someone will say, "Ohhhh, you are so...brave...for telling us that."  Um, what?  It was supposed to make you laugh, not inspire you to climb Mount Everest.  The person obviously meant, "You are an idiot.  Keep your idiot shenanigans to yourself."  Sometimes, its not until days later that I'm suddenly like, "Ohhhhhhhh, that guy didn't want my advice on potty training his son...I get it now...."

This seems insulting toward Peaches, but I tell you, its magic.  Volunteering in ministry, I have several times had to have straight talks with people.  The kids end up crying and the parents end up kind of ticked at me.  But I have seen a Southern Man have the SAME CONVERSATION with folks and the person goes away totally unaware that they have been reprimanded but nonetheless inspired to change.

How do they do that???  Its not the Yankee Way.  But I can sit back and appreciate it as I would a Picasso or a Rembrandt.

4.  Attire

Speaking of back-handed compliments.  I showed up at a meeting once, and a dear friend said, "You look beautiful!  You FINALLY look Southern!" 

Here's me "Looking Southern"

Um.  Thanks.  Sorry that you had to look at my nasty Yankee self for all these years.

I did actually take it as a compliment, having lived here long enough, but it made me analyze what was so Southern about me?  Well, I had just started giving in to the frizz in my hair and curling it instead of straightening it.  My hair was big and puffy and girlie that day.  I had just gotten a new brightly colored shirt with an actual pattern on it (big step for me), and had recently found jeans that fit me well, and may have even had coordinating jewelry on.  I looked polished.

Okay, never mind, I decided to be ever so slightly offended.  I mean, what the heck does it look like when I dress "Yankee" anyways??  This question was answered soon after.  When I caught my reflection in a store window and realized that my hair was in a messy bun and I had somehow managed to wear about 7 shades of black, offset by a gray scarf. 

Oh.

5.  Southern Gentlemen

Okay, I've picked on the Peaches quite a bit, so I will end with this.  There is nothing in the world like a Southern Gentleman.  Truly.  The men at my church, young and old, treat the ladies like they are gold.  I haven't had to get my own door in years.  Compliments on your pretty dress and smooth words to gloss over a glaring mistake you just made make you feel special.  I had to get used to this, however.

Midwest men are also wonderful.  Its just that there is something to the myth of the Southern Gentleman.  I used to bristle at the compliments, the small talk in line at the store, and the offerings of help with doors and groceries.  I was taught to be independent and to exude a sense of spunk.  I've mellowed.  Because I truly like it.  I've learned to be gracious and not to shut down a man offering to help me carry a heavy item to my car.

My 4 year-old son got a lesson in chivalry the other day.   He had fallen asleep in the car on the way to Publix and I was carrying him while struggling to get a cart.  An elderly man walked from his car several feet away and helped me pull out the cart.  He then held the cart so that I could get Caleb into it.  I said, "Thank you" and he said, "Well, ma'am, I couldn't do less for you.  Its how my mama raised me."  He had to be in his 80s.  When my son asked why that man helped me I told him.

"Its because he is a Southern Gentleman, sweetie."

Ever since, my son tries to get my door, offers to help his sister set the table, etc.  I call him a good helper and he corrects me by saying that he is, in fact, a gentleman.