Alter Ego

I have an alter ego.

It's not a super hero, or being a spy or...like...Beyonce. 

Nevertheless, she exists.  My sister has one too. They are not cool alter egos.  They are evil, actually.  Want to meet mine?  Fine.  But prepare yourself.

Say hello to Miss Mayella, of To Kill a Mockingbird fame.

You see, sweet pickles, I have a Bad Hair alter ego.

I have brown, flat hair.  I cannot have bangs.  CAN  NOT have bangs.  Everytime I go into a salon, the stylist tells me to get them.  I say I can't and she promises me the sun, moon and stars.   I know better. The Stylist thinks I'm a mild mannered reporter, but I know my little secret.  I know that as soon as she cuts my hair, Miss Mayella will appear in much the same fashion as The Hulk...causing chaos and devastation wherever she goes.


I go home from the salon and within minutes my bangs have "fallen" or "deflated" if you will.  Miss Mayella rises again.  I wail, I sob, I lament.  Also, I am married, have I mentioned that?  So, I take it out on him, natch.  I try a round brush, volumizer, ancient hexes...nothing will get those bangs off my forehead.

 
At this point, there is only one thing a girl can do. I call my sister.  All I need to say is, "I have Miss Mayella hair."  Nothing else must be said.  Sometimes, I just quote the movie.  She answers the phone and I just say "You and your Miss Mayellas" or "I need you to bust up a chifferobe"  (Please...do yourself a favor...go watch To Kill a Mockingbird...best movie ever...Harper Lee is hilarious)

My sister has thick blonde hair that, in its evil state, can get very dry.  My sister's alter ego is Tanya Harding.  Remember her?  Yes? No?  Fine...

On those dark days, when Miss Mayella can't be tamed.  Sometimes, Tonya Harding is the only person who can calm her down.

Do you have an alter ego?  Hopefully, its a cool one.  And, if you are Beyonce...ohmygosh, I'm a huuuuuuuuge fan.