Monday, October 24, 2011

Cute in an Evil Way

I am a despicable human being.  Let me just lead off with that.

Let me also state, for the record, that I am a HUGE fan of capitalistic democracies, the Constitution, all of our Presidents (except for 4 of them...they know what they did), and that I think America is awesome wrapped in lovely, and sprinkled with a healthy helping of terrific.

SO.

I was minding my own business last Thursday, working out on the treadmill at the gym, when...NEWSFLASH!...Moammar Gadhafi is captured and killed!  It was spell binding to watch the events unfold.  At one point, they did a photo montage of Moammar's life.  And that's when it happened.  I didn't mean to think it, it just HAPPENED.  They showed this picture:



 
And my first thought was, "Oh!  He was kind of cute!" 
 
I thought this about a mass-murdering, airplane-bombing, ruthless dictator.
 
And...this wasn't the first time that has happened...
I also was shocked to find out that the Iranian President who, rumor has it, has a nuclear-sized vendetta against the free world, looks like this:
 



I mean...right?  Kinda cute!

There are two lessons here.  The first is that beauty...well, I wouldn't go THAT far...cuteness is only skin deep.   The second is that Evil-ness causes wrinkles and bloating.  Right, Moammar?


I feel wretchedly horrible for thinking evil-masterminds are cute.  In fact, it was with great trepidation that I googled an image of Osama bin Laden in his younger years.  Thank GOODNESS he looked like a simpering turd even back then!  Phew.  Our last 25 Presidents have been way cuter...USA! USA!

But, on a crazy scale of 1 to10 (1 being the women who seem to flock to Charlie Sheen, 10 being the women who fall in love with serial killers on death row and marry them), how crazy am I?  

I say I am a NEGATIVE 5 because I don't find these men ATTRACTIVE, nor do I want Ahmadinejad to ask me out on a date.  I just expect all nefarious megalomaniacs (I got sick of typing "evil" over and over) to look like this:
 
 
So, in summary, I feel awful.  And I also love America.  I ALSO hope someone gets all the Ahmadinejads and Jafars of the world before they do any more harm.    And, for the record, my husband does not need to worry that I will leave him for a anyone on the CIA's, the UN's, Scotland Yard's or INTERPOL's most wanted list.  I married "cute" and "good".



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