I'm Bringing Fanny Back...

The other day, an extraordinarily disturbing thing happened to me.  I took my kids to the park.  I did NOT want to lug my purse around, so I took out the essentials...keys, iPhone, lip gloss.  Lip gloss fit into my pocket, but the phone seriously dragged the booty of my jeans down to the ground and the keys kept poking me in all sorts of inconvenient places.

That's when it happened.  I thought to myself, "My goodness.  I don't want to constantly fuss with my purse at the park, but I need to take stuff with me, BUT I need my hands free, AND it won't fit in my pocket!  I wish there was something else...something I could strap to me to make my life easier."

And then it hit me.  Sweet Mother of Versace, I've just re-invented the most reviled and mocked faux pas in fashion history...the Fanny Pack!!!!

Like the mighty Phoenix of lore...as well as Disco, Chia Pets, and Cher...is it possible that the fanny pack may arise from its own ashes to sore to even greater heights once again?

I hope not.  But, then, why did I think that horrible thought?  How did the Fanny Pack invade my psyche?  I did a little research and guess what I found...

Rihanna?  Is that you?  Wearing a Double Fanny Pack?  Its...happening...

Now calm down.  Maybe its not so bad!  I mean, we are used to those early 90s FPs.  You know, like the one this stud is wearing...

Ahhhhh, The Hulk!  You know what I love about this guy?   He's timeless.   But for the Home Depot carts in the background, this picture could be from 1989.  Howevs, I take issue with the unfortunate placement of his FP.  Its...hanging..."there".  I'm glad I'm not that cashier, having to watch him dig around for his credit card.

MY POINT BEING...that maybe with an updated twist, fanny packs could make an acceptable re-entrance into society.  For instance, this dapper little dude that my husband found while trying to find a leather bag on Ebay last night...

MMMMMMM, Hmmmmmmm!  That's hot.  Its leather, its got a svelte, classy design.  It could take a man from the office to a date with his best girl that evening.  I'm sensing a give awaaaaaaaayyyy!

Okay, maybe not.  Maybe, instead, my husband and I laid in bed and laughed until we cried at the thought of this fashion atrocity.  If for no other reason than a little comic relief, it might be nice to bring a little Fanny back, don't you think?